I Think That Valiums Just Kicked In

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:28:25 +0100

Sorry it’s been so long, but i became worried that the whole enterptise might be unduly narcissistic. So’s a lot of things, i reasoned, and I’m bored and waiting for the little blue pills to come on. I’ve done so many festivals in the last summer. What are we celebrating again? and why am I doing it in a portokabin in Abrystwhich? i think the high point was escaping from Wizard festival near Aberdeen and eating fish and chips with a pint of stella watching ‘Goldfinger’ in front of a Plasma T.V, in the local pub. When the landlady offered me a cup of tea I nearly cried. I’ve lost a moblie phone every month this year. I spent this evening reading about Oswald Spengler whle listening to the Boredoms. Give it a try. Gave up Livejournal cos it was full of middle aged goths talking about their adorable children. Lost my beautiful long jacket with the silver buttons putting out a cooker fire in a student flat in Bristol. Split up with my beautiful Irish girlfriend, boo. Took DMT on the bus and turned into a cosmic pirate. Played gig with robotic drummer with four arms at Glastonbury. became infused with the Buddhist concept of depenedent co-arising. Drank some beer. went to new York and had my wallet stolen by a 70-year old Sicilian gangster. developed a crush on Avril Levene. Bought a new washing machine.

What kind of a Person would play in a Band like this?

Mon, 12 May 2008 22:57:38 +0100

So the tour went okay, noone died, although Larry did manage to get smashed in the face. It’s sort of a tradition now that at some point in the tour our lead singer gets a battering. Last time it was in Oxford, where Larry managed to get gay-bashed after spending too long in the gents, powdering his nose. It’s my home town, so I was rather proud. I nearly missed the gig in Aylesbury after getting waylaid in Bristol, and micalculating the train times. The nice students I was staying with left me alone in the flat while they went to work, and I set fire to their cooker while trying to like a fag on the ring. They were very nice about it, but I ended up forking out 160 sheets for taxi to the gig. I arrived half way through the set to cheers from the audience and obscene hand gestures from my bandmates.

Next week I’ve got my first rehearsal with possibly oddest and uncoolest band in the world. The singer is Valantine Guinness a perpetual engenue from a cursed dynasty, the bassist is the lugubrious son of the Barings banking family, and the guitarist is vowel mangling, pasta-sauce promoting sophistocrat Lloyd Grossman. They’ve booked their first gig at the rebellion punk festival in Blackpool. We might drown in a sea of gob. Why am I doing it? It could be funny, and I’m a tart.

Talking about bizarre rock combos, I’ve also been asked to join in a project with the Jackson Pollock Bar, a German ‘Performance Installation’ group who work with Art and Language, the conceptual art trio that my Dad works with.
They want to form a kind of tribute band to recreate performances from the two albums they released in collaboration with Mayo Thompson’s Red Krayola. I actually ended up singing on the first album, aged 8, with my mum and Dad on a song called ‘Coleridge vs Martineau’. Funny old world.

Paradox and Inconsistancy, Sweet and Cruel Ironies, little Triumphs and Humiliations, my life is made of.

I’m trying to get round to adding a list of dates to this website, hopefully sometime next week, if i can stop looking at porn on the internet for 5 minutes.

Get on the Fucking Bus!!!!

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 07:25:34 +0100

Off On Tour with ‘The Boys’ Today. Pray for me. Albama 3 are playing 10 dates around the UK.
Although I havn’t had time to bleach my hair so the tour may have to be abandoned.
We’re also supposed to be doing two weeks in the states in July. I screamed at our manager, Ian
two nights ago over his handling of our Visas. After the tragiocious events of 7-11 It’s a tricky business.
It’s likely my wages for the whole tour will be eaten by my massive credit card bill. Pop goes the weasil.

Tue, 8 Apr 2008 00:27:53 +0100

I’ve got no reason, there’s no real reason to be waiting. Very much enjoyed the spectacle of the British fucking up Global School Sports Day. Made me right proud. I’ve dicovered powder foundation is much more efficient than liquid. Should’ve known that by now, but those Avon ladies don’t come around as often as they used to. Did a thing on Jonny Brown’s show on Resonance with Dave the Hat, who is the projenitor of this instructive image, I’ll post it soon. Part from that, just doing the do. x

Welcome to my website, which is concerned with the majesterial wonderfulness of me and all the incredibly important things I do. Please leave a comment; I’m so very lonely.

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 19:45:53 +0000

I’d like to tell you everything, but I can’t because you’re everybody. I’ve got the messiest flat of anyone you know, unless tbey’ve died recently. I want to design and build a pinball table based on the Spanish Civil War. I can’t swim. I play the keyboards in bands and write and do word art. I’m 40. I drink a lot and take drugs. I love life and I long for Armageddon.